>Vanity Card #001

March 9, 2010 § Leave a comment


When I was little I believed pretty much anything my older sister told me. One of these things was that ice cubes wouldn’t work unless you licked them first. Another was that my butt would shrink in size if I shimmied along the floor on my butt, with my legs out straight in front of me for 10 minutes a day. I spent a year of my life shimmying and licking ice cubes until someone finally told me the truth.
Not funny then, funny now.
I had an intense urge to sing Leona Lewis at kareoke. My friends tell me there is no way the bar will have any Leona Lewis. I bet them a round of drinks that they do, and go put in my request for Bleeding Love, to which the bartender nods. My name is called, I take the microphone….and Tainted Love comes on.
Not funny then, funny now.
I had a decent first run at the ultramarathon and decided to do another. Six months later, I’m diarreaing in someone’s front yard in North Carolina at 3am, followed by a blackout. Wake up in a little po-dunk hospital in North Carolina to a nurse “cleaning me up” and giving me a catheter. Black out again. Wake up in the regional hospital in North Carolina to doctors who tell me I should probably never run again.
Not funny then, funny now.
I thought that banking would be a fun and enjoyable career, and spent 1.5 years of my life (that I will never get back) pretending that it wasn’t that bad.
Not funny then, still not funny (give it time).

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