>Everybody Poops

February 12, 2009 § 6 Comments

>Today on my run, I was back by the Domino factory, rounding tidepoint, when it hit me – I had to poo. Badly. I stopped, walked. Stopped, walked a little more. Intense concentration was required for the next 10 minutes as I made my way slowly, but surely, to the BP carwash slash Quiznos where I was blessed with a bathroom. I was so impressed by this facility – a rarity when it comes to random bathrooms along a run – that I have decided to review some of the most convienent bathroom options for runners in the city, and I invite you guys to add your own fav stops.

-Key Highway: Quiznos/Carwash. Four stars. So clean it was probably cleaner than my home bathroom. In fact, it was def cleaner. The staff doesn’t even give you dirty looks for only coming in to use the bathroom either.

-Patterson Park: Porta Potties. One Star. Maybe one half of a star. I don’t even get grossed out by germs, but I am pretty sure I saw some syphillis in these. Not only that, but they trick you, and are frequently locked and you can find yourself running like a crazy person from porta potty to porta potty, and the open one prob has no TP.

-Outside of Du Burns arena: Porta Potty. Two Stars. Not bad, not great, but a step up from Patterson Park if you can stand to run the extra

-Merritt Athletic Clubs. Four stars, unless you don’t have a membership in which case it’s probably negative stars. But these are strategically located throughout the city where you can usually get to one pretty easily. As with any gym bathroom, they arent exactly private but beggars cant be choosers.

-Church stoops in Federal Hill. I’ll let the one and only Melissa Bosslett review this one for me.

-The Middle Branch Park on the Shady Seven: Woods. One point five stars. It’s woods, but they are pretty private minus the occasional homeless man. And you probably have to sacrifice a sock as it’s the woods.

Please feel free to share your own reviews of places to poo while on a run in the city.

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§ 6 Responses to >Everybody Poops

  • RM says:

    >I’ll probably put this on my own blog, great idea Alyssa. Except nobody says poo anymore. Use a euphemism, like releasing the hostages/hostage situation or dropping knowledge, painting the porcelain, throwing heat, etc.Upstairs bathroom at Harborplace, Pratt St pavilion: 1 star. No doors on the stalls and the automatic flusher goes off every two seconds.Empty plot of grass, Baltimore Street just east of President: 2 stars when it’s dark out. No toilet paper, obvi.Patapsco: 4 stars, anywhere is fantastic to take a dump. I usually wait til I can be near water so I can wash my hands, also a higher likelihood of leaves.Greenbelt Park: 4 stars, again great leaf situation.DC gas stations: 0 stars. They are terrible and I use them only when I have to.DC Subway, Connecticut Ave: 2 stars. No toilet paper, fortunately I was carrying my own.Patterson Park, inside the little kids playground: 3 stars. Had to be done. At least it was dark.

  • Claire says:

    >At first I thought this post was going to be about the book and I’m a bit disappointed it’s not. I’m not sure how to use the stars to rate bathrooms butBarnes and Nobles at power plant, find it to be more pleasant than the restrooms in the Harborplace but remember the bathrooms are up the up the escalatorsBarnes and Noble near the Hopkins CampusMcDonald’s on Fort near Shoppers plaza they don’t seem to mind if you don’t buy anything but they aren’t all that cleanFort McHenry has bathrooms when it’s openthose are the only ones i can think of that haven’t been mentioned yet

  • Andrew says:

    >While I cant add any great local pooing places, I will say that a news organization really needs to do a story on the effect the bad economy is having on runners. With less ppl getting additions to their houses and new construction all but stopped, the random port-o-potties have practically become extinct.

  • EL says:

    >You guys missed any obvious toilet, Safeway in Canton! Not always the cleanest, but it works when you have to pinch a loaf. Merritt, I once snuck in by signing in on the PT list. I used an alias, Chauncey Witherbottom.

  • THE KRIS says:

    >i find myself less than surprised that this post is getting lots of comments.

  • RM says:

    >Claire, what do you think – you’re smarter than me or something because you go to a bookstore to dump?Emily, you should have had a play on words like “when you need to pinch a loaf in a pinch” or something.Model, it comes from the Greek for mishapen ball of clay.

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